Depressed

I am depressed. I wish I could get my head straight. Today is day 5 with no drugs or alcohol. Thought that might make a difference. I feel like getting some pot and getting stoned. Tonight is honky tonk night at the Owl & Thistle. Julie will be there with Zak and the gang. Might get in a few dances. If I go, I will want to get smashed. But I will try and use my will power to prevent myself from becoming a sloppy drunk. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Buster and I went to see the new Wil Smith movie I, Robot. Strangely enough we saw Julie and her boyfriend coming out of another movie. We chatted breifly and parted ways.

I am lonely on top of being depressed. I'll see the kids this evening. Buster is going to have dinner with Moira. Why can't I find peace. Why do I feel destined to be a prisioner of my own dissatisfaction. I am trying to move forward, I just seem stuck.

Whatever.