With a smile on my face and love in my heart

I don't know what to say. I sit here looking at the keyboard wanting to write about something great, something exciting and interesting. But it's just me feeling glum. I'm not always glum, really. . . I'm not. In fact, while street performing this afternoon I was positively not glum. My shows were OK and the money as well. Nothing to write home about. I watched the Cellini Vol. 3 DVD on Street Performing recently. I loved it!! Mostly Interview footage of Cellini asking other street performers advice for the home viewers. I really liked the footage of Cellini interviewing Gazzo. Two magical street performing heavy weights talking about their experiences. Lot's of valuable info for anyone wanting to street perform. Back in the day, these guys never would have tipped ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING with regard to the in's and out's of the craft. I have a lot of confusing and conflicting emotions with regard to selling out our art. But that's bullshit for another day.

I miss my kids. They called me this evening. They were all excited, they had been in Issaquah. Would have been nice to see them while they were on this side of the mountains but Moira is making it more clear every day that she does not want me to see the kids at all. I ask every day, she doesn't return my call every day. I asked to speak to her after talking to the kids, to find out when I could spend the day with them. Blown off again. I forgive her, mostly because that's easier than hating her. Wasting good emotion on hate and anger, that's for the birds. That shit will eat you up and spit you out. Been there done that. . . not going back. Just wish I could understand where she's coming from. She won't even talk to me, or barely look at me. It's going on a month that I haven't seen my kids. Whose fault is that? I'm here for them everyday of the week.

It was good to hear their voices. They're growing up right before my very ears. Liam will be four years old on the 23rd. of this month. I've been wanting to set up a day where we can celebrate his birthday. I'll remain optimistic that might happen.

Life is good. The sunset was fantastic. . . again. With a smile on my face and love in my heart I will march forward. TF