Does time heal all wounds? Father, Son, Brother

I wrote this email to my brother after recieving a note from him wanting to reconnect with our Dad.

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I think he's been waiting for years to show you that he is not the same person in your painful memories. That man disappeared and was replaced by one who wants to show you that he loves you.

We know pain, we know growth. . . .For all we know . .

Life is too short for hate and anger. It eats us up, and spits out the bones. During my divorce with Cricket, as you may remember, Mom continued to favor Cricket (my first wife), inviting her to come to the house and have dinner, hang out and be a part of her life. I needed Mom to choose me over her. She refused and it splintered an already broken heart. I recall telling her, that just as I had to accept the fact the she would remain friendly with Cricket, She had to accept the fact that our relationship would never be the same. I was consumed with hate and anger for 4 years. It ate me up. During that time I did not trust Mom with my feelings because, as I saw it she was siding with the enemy. At some point I was finally able to take YOUR advice, LET GO, LET GOD. . . Turn It Over. I did that, because I knew someday she would begin another journey and I didn't want to feel like I missed the opportunity to fill our lives with love and more current memories filled with joy, trust and acceptance.

I had been talking to mom everyday for months and it felt good. Cricket and I now get along better than we ever did.

The choice was mine. I choose a path with no regrets. It took me a long time to get there and it wasn't easy, but as time filtered my thinking and values, I am at peace with My God, My Life and my family.

I hope someday Moira will make the same choice and allow a new beginning to mend the years of hate, frustration and anger.

I would like to be friends with her. 3 years ago I didn't feel that way, the wound was too deep and fresh. Now I just want to fill my life with love. I will wait her out and continue to fight to be an active part of my children's lives. Whether she can accept me for who I am, is up to her, all I can do is wait and hope.

I know that dad has been waiting and hoping.

Call him, or don't call him the choice is yours.

Peace be with you my brother. . . my friend

Love

T-Bird