In my "In Box"

Dear Mr. Frank,

Warning! This is going to be a rather forward email.

I've been following your blog for about a year or so. Fascinating read. I've learned quite a bit about the life of a performer and performing. (I'm a amateur magician in Utah.) Decided I'd give something back.

One of my "jobs" is counseling for my church (Church of Scientology.)

Are you still reading?

I know that the following offer has a snowballs chance in hell of ever coming to fruition but I wouldn't feel quite right if I didn't at least put it out there.

In a nutshell - I'm offering free "marriage counseling" to you and Moira. (I do a lot of this sort of thing as a Volunteer Minister.)

The counseling I deliver is quite a bit different than what one would expect. It's based on the premise that the break down of a relationship is preceded by secrets, lies and dishonesties. In other words - Your upset with a person because of something you have DONE to them and withheld afterwards.

This is different than the time honored tradition of "look at what a victim I am." When spouse A is all critical of and upset at spouse B, you will, invariable, find that spouse A has done something that they are hiding from spouse B. Thus hostilities ensue.

This is a simplification of course.

How does it work? The counselor sits both people in the same room and asks two simple questions. 1.) What have you done to (spouse)? 2.) What have you withheld from (spouse)? These two questions are directed to one person until a good point is reached and then they are directed to the other person until a good point is reached. This is continued until the couple are back in good communication with each other. Obviously, this isn't always easy to do. Me and my wife recently underwent this exact same procedure and let me tell you it was a lot harder listening to what she had been hiding from me than it was to tell her some of the harmful things that I had done.

The local church has a film that shows this exact procedure.

Well...If you read this far I thank you for taking the time to do so. If you have any questions don't hesitate to email me or call me.

Sincerely,

Randy Naviaux


Randy,

I think it's a bit late for marriage counseling as we have been divorced for 2 years. I appreciate you taking the time to make the offer.