Bumbershoot

Worked Bumbershoot yesterday. My days of cranking out shows are over. I used to be able to go all day and bang'em out. These days if I start to get frustrated I take a break. Last night I got to a point where I wasn't enjoying it anymore. So, I left. I made shitty money but did some pretty good shows. I decided not to count it. I will work 3 out of the 4 days of Bumbershoot and count it all up later.

Getting ready to go back out there. Things kick off at Noon. I don't want to loose my voice, so I have to be smart about this. Maybe I should try and pitch some stripper decks. It's against the rules, like using amplification. I getting ready to say fuck the rules. I NEED to make some money.

I wish I could get my life together. I feel like I've really been trying for years but things haven't been going my way. I got a line on a job in retail. The Children's Museum Gift Shop is looking for a retail manager. I think I might try and put a resume together and submit it. Not sure what non profit's pay, but I guess I'll find out. This is not the direction that I want to go, but going on 4 months behind in child support; something has to give.

I need to keep love in my heart and a smile on my face. I have plenty of talent and enthusiasum, why can't I get it together.

Well, off to Bumbershoot. . see if I can make something happen.

Liam Price Frank turns 3 years old!

Letter to the Ex

Dear Moira,

I'm going to take the kids swimming this afternoon. If you would please send them with their bathing suits. Thank you.

They continue to express interest and excitement in spending the night at my house. Perhaps you can articulate your concerns. Are you worried that I might drive off the road and smash into a fence? Just wondering.

I would really like it if you would stop using our children as pawns in your game of hate. Maybe someday you will understand that I have a lot to offer our children. I hope that by the time that day comes, it won't be too late.

I want to spend more time with the kids, but at the same time I refuse to let your failed attempt to manipulate the court system and me from preventing personal freedom when I am not with our children. I'll ask you again, what are your specific concerns? Do you have any alternate suggestions to solve this problem? I do, why don't you come and spend the night at my house too? I could fix everyone dinner like the old days and we could walk on the beach.

I'm not trying to confuse you or piss you off. I'm just trying to get to a place where perhaps we can be friends and do what's best for our children.


Love,


Tom

End of August 2004

Beautiful Day For A Troubled Mind

Haunted by depression I suffer from lonliness. Drifting in and out of my own life, I yearn for what once was but will never be again. I sure would like to figure it all out. How to be happy, how to be there for my family when they are not here. What happened? How did I arrive at this point. Sometimes I feel so helpless. Sometimes I feel so stupid, like I've wasted my life on a dream, only to wake up in a cold sweat.


Liam turned 3 years old last week. The years are flying by and I'm not getting any younger. I want to cry, but I can't even do that. So I sit by myself, locked in the prison of my mind and wait. I waiting for inspiration. I'm waiting for my life to make sense. After two divorces, 4 kids and 5 stores I look in the mirror and see someone more foolish than me.