My Dad, On The Left

Here is a surveillance shot in Prague early 1970's when my father was a spy for the CIA

West Seattle

These pictures were taken around the corner from my house. Less than a 5 minute walk.

There is a lot of natural beauty in this world. I guess I should count my blessings.

Buster and I take many walks. I love my boy, and I love the view.

I street performed at the market during the day and performed at the Fenix Underground at night

For being down and out. . . this ain't bad.

Buster gets the crabs.

Session's

The Tuesday night session at the Alki Beach Magic Studio welcomed more visitors than usual. The regulars were there: Steve Amaden, Tim Flynn, Soloman Notik and of course my son Buster and myself. Later in the evening Willard the Wizard (Daryl Willard) appeared as well as Isaac Louie and Robert Stevens. As I've said many times before. there is a lot of talent in this town. As the fire that once roared in the living room died out. The session went until 1:30AM or so. We all had a good time enjoying the beauty and art of magic.

The Banachek lecture this weekend sounds great. Not sure if I will attend. If the weather is nice enough I will have to street perform instead. Bills as well as next months rent are rapidly becoming due and I don't have one tenth of what I need. But I suspect, if it too cold to work the streets which for the most part has been the last few months, you will see me and Buster at the lecture.

Tonight and tomorrow I will be at the Fenix Underground. Tomorrow night is a South Center Session, I should be there around midnight after I get off of work. Always a good time. Then the following weekend, Thomas Wayne is in town and we'll have to put something special together for him. I know it's not regularly scheduled weekend for a South Center Session but I'd be happy to make the trek 2 weeks in a row. If not, the Alki Beach Magic Studio is always open for a visiting dignitary.

The Real World Is Overrated

We all pick a point in the universe for our souls to soar. Bush picked the White House, a bum picked an alley; and me. . . I, picked Alki Beach. This morning I took Buster to an orientation at Nova, an Alternative High School that's part of the Seattle Public School System. He spent half a day there as a requirement for the application to possibly get in. Seems like a very cool place with as progressive a program as I have seen.

Tomorrow night I'm back at the Fenix Underground. I feel like working in some new material custom tailored for the rock n roll / dance club audience. I think it's time to incorporate some floating effects. Time to fuck with these people's heads.

Tonight I built a nice fire. Buster and I played a game of chess and the evening disappeared.

I talked with Sylvester the Jester tonight. He is going to hook Steve up with an evening at the Magic Castle. It was nice to talk to him. He is my soul brother and was my housemate for the 2 years I lived in LA.

Fuck, Shit, Cunt

I was supposed to meet with Nigel the drug evaluator on Tuesday. He needed to reschedule. I am beginning to feel like I'm getting the run around. I followed his recommendations and contacted DAD's as well as a lawyer David Lee who he said might be able to help. I sent him an email, told him I was broke but needed to see my kids; I doubt I will hear back from him.

I am getting frustrated about the notion of fighting to see my kids. I am a good father, I am ready to do anything to see my kids, but if the tides don't turn soon; I will accept (as I have for the last two years) that there will be no overnight weekend visitations.

Imbedded Links

Got a call the other week from a guy named Robert Standlee. Seems I had performed for him on New Years Eve at the Fenix Underground. By the way, can you tell that I just got off the phone with my high tech and motivational guru JR Hughson. Who quickly taught me how to imbed links in the text of my blog posts? Anyway, this dude asked me If I wanted to swap out magic lessons for sculpting lessons. After a very interesting discussion, I found out that he works in the toy industry and goes to China often. He also teaches sculpting at a local college and offered to let me sit in. This sounds like fun for both Buster and I. He also has a background in special effects, 3D and digital applications. I've been thinking about how to move my act to another level. He sounds like a good guy to have on my team.

Fun @ The Fenix

Another day starts at 6:00AM

Tears on a chilly day of sunshine

What's my fucking deal. Who knows. While eating my peanut-butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, I just start crying.

I've been anxiously awaiting my appointment with Nigel the drug evaluator. I will see him today at 4:00PM. I spoke to Max, Hope & Liam on the phone last night. I dream of overnight weekend visitations, but I have little faith in the Washington State Court System when it comes to fathers rights in divorce cases.

I can see it now, Nigel says I don't have a problem with drugs or alcohol, I offer up my blood, urine and hair follicles for testing and still I anticipate a lifetime of hoops to jump through.

This is probably the first time in my life that I have willingly agreed to jump through the hoops. I will do anything I have to see my kids.

But no one knows better than me, if I am not granted with I want after all of their silly controlling games. . . .

Fuck them and the horse they rode in on.

Monday Night Magic

I performed at the Fenix Underground on Friday and Saturday nights. My sets went well and one guy gave me a $20 tip. Nice! I love performing. I love the look on people's face when they are having a good time enjoying the magic I have to offer. Rather than stroll around the Fenix, I set up my table and let people come to me. This way I can assure that my audiences are watching because it's a choice that they have made. Unfortunately, this means that there can be periods of time where I am not working for anyone. I have rectified this situation in my own mind by thinking myself a bit of a performance artist, part of the club atmosphere and not depending on people standing in front of me. I groove to the music, and work through some visual card, coin, silk and ring manipulations and flourishes. I can feel people watching me from afar, they watch from the balcony down on me and watch as they walk up the stairs. They grab a moment of magic and then disappear into the nights smoke filled air. I love the gig because I get to smoke my cigar the whole time I work.

Sunday I opened the show at Kenyon Hall. I performed 25 minutes in white tie and tails. I love that room. I liked it better when it was Hokum Hall. Performing improvised routines with Professor Hokum W. Jeebs backing me up on the Mighty Wurlizter Pipe Organ was always a kick. I miss Hokum.

The Ravenna installment of Monday Night Magic was fun. We had a good crowd and I got to close the show. It still confuses me why more of the locals don't take advantage of the two monthly opportunities to get up in front of a crowd and practice your art. Thanks Fred for allowing me this valuable opportunity. I changed up my set at the last minute. I was going to do the 3 card mental problem into the 12 card mental problem into the exploding lightbulb. But at the last minute after sizing up the crowd, I decided to do more visual magic. A bit of cards, coins and finishing up with the rings.

Valentines Day

I love my boy as much as life itself.


Here he is pissd that he missed one.


I am impressed with his effort. I used to say to him, "Enough with the lazy answers, show me want you can really do." He is doing that now.


Although last quarter we both slacked off a bit. Me with my depression and not checking homework every night and him with me not ridding his ass. He's got a GREAT start on this quarter with renewed vigor and enthusiasm. I really am very proud of him. What a guy!

Performing @ Kenyon Hall

The Venue formerly know as Hokum

I had a nice weekend of shows. Perfermed at the Fenix Underground on Friday and Saturday nights, then at Kenyon Hall for a Sunday Matinee. Shows went well. Not too much cash, but at least I'm performing.



Getting ready for the gig at home


As always finishing up with the rings


Alki Beach - Across the street from my house.

Pain

I drive myself crazy even in my sleep
waking up from a dream I can't handle
in this episode I'm sobbing like some schoolgirl,
why can't I get over her
why can't I heal
why must I pick that scab again and again.

In this dream she moved a short way away
although I was sad, I was happy
a ten minute dive to see my kids!''

Then after I woke up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes
clearly not being able to handle the story in my sleep
I realized that it was not a 10 minute drive,
but an hour and a half drive over the mountains
and that there was a fresh restraining order in place.

It's been almost 2 years since she kicked me out of my own house
into the street with just the clothes on my back

I want to move forward. I forgive and accept. I still don't understand.
perhaps this is why my dreams feel more like nightmares
And perhaps I will haunt myself with these thoughts
for eternity

I hope to hell NOT